I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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