okay pat passed out under dana's car
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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