I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
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Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
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How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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