We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i drank out of a bidet.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
