yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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