ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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