it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
