I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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