Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want her autograph on my taint
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
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