Dual....:-)
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
