I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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