i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
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Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
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I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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