it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Randomize
