(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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