Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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