Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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