cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
