Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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