She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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