This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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