We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
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He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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