SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
We have started to decorate penises.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
