Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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