I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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