You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Alive.
So much puke
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
