I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
