You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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