Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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