I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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