Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
