another moral hangover. fuck.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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