I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Randomize
