he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
