woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
