u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
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