Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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