Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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