So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
