I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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