the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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