sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
