I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Ladies don't puke and tell
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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