U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Soap is not a condiment
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
