2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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