goodnight i made you a song goodbye
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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