Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
