He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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