so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Every concussion has its silver lining
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
