I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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