you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
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