It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize