you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Do vagina's smell?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
