What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?