Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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