We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
