don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
