Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
