are you still at the devil's house?
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Randomize
