Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
tell me about the fingering
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