And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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