Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
