It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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